Just Some Thoughts: Vol. 11
I’m not Built for This
Lately, I’ve been feeling like a psychotic mouse running on one of those circular treadmills. As fast as I run, and as much energy as I put in, I stay in the same place. That’s all.
Holiyay or Holinay?
The winter holidays are here. I’m disgusted at how quickly this year went by. I can’t even believe that it’s about to be 2023!
Some things I love about this time of year: Christmas lights, colder weather, baking cookies, buying gifts for people, buying gifts for myself, winter break, family time, stuffing my face like a prize heifer.
Some things I hate about this time of year: higher electricity bills, the inevitable sadness I feel around the holidays, students bugging me to round up their grades, missing loved ones during a joyous time.
Teaching is a really difficult profession. You might be rolling your eyes and thinking that I should shut up, but it’s not a career for everyone. A former work friend of mine left the school we were working at over the summer to find a job that was closer to her home. She landed a job at a middle school, which was great for her because it meant a shorter commute and more time with her family. I texted her the other day to say hello and see how she was doing. She told me that she had quit her job and was taking some much needed time off. I was a little surprised to hear this, but not totally.
The thing is, there is a high burnout rate right now in the teaching profession. The last three to four years have really kicked our asses, and it just feels like things are getting worse and worse. The rise of technology addiction in teens is astounding; their faces are always looking at a screen these days. There is a serious lack of resources, AKA, money to support much needed services and facility upgrades. Teachers are both hailed as saints, and demonized in the same breath. We’re expected to carry on like normal after a tragic pandemic, but nothing about being at school is normal anymore.
Honestly, if I could afford to take a year or two off, I would. I was telling my dad the other day that I wish I could retire already. He said, “No you don’t. You would get bored if you retired right now.” I gave him my “you must be shitting me” look and said, “Uh, no, I would be fine. I would find things to do so I wouldn’t get bored.”
Fucking boomers! But, I get where he’s coming from. I think a lot of people have big pieces of their identity wrapped up in their career, and when that career comes to a close, they feel like a part of them is dying. I try to imagine what I would be like if I stepped outside of the classroom. Yes, there are things that I would totally miss, but I also feel like my life would be less stressful. I don’t know, I’m just tired these days.