I was in bed the other morning getting ready to start my day and I started to think about death. I hadn’t even had my coffee yet and I was already having an existential dialogue in my head. This happens from time to time and nothing really triggers it, but I suddenly come to the realization every now and again that one day I will be dead. One day, we will all be… dead. Sometimes I look at my family and friends when I’m with them and feel a sense of panic thinking about the day I will lose them forever. I do have fears about dying but am more curious about what it will be like to actually be dead. Is there an afterlife? Is there just nothingness? What is going to happen once my body gives out on me?
Many people who have died for a brief period of time and then are brought back to life claim that there is an afterlife. A lot of the stories I’ve heard about are that there is some sort of bright light, a feeling of peace, and a realization that they are no longer in the realm of the real world. I have heard of some stories where people died for a couple of minutes and there was just nothingness. They compare it to being put under anesthesia; no dreams, no images, no sense of time. Seeing as how I have never died and been brought back, I can’t confirm or deny any of these claims.
A lot of our beliefs about what happens to us when we die are founded on religious teachings. I think even people that were not brought up in a specific religion are influenced by what they see or read about from others that are. I was raised Catholic and was taught that there is heaven, hell, and purgatory. If you live your life according to the teachings of the Bible, you get into heaven. If you’re a stone cold asshole with no remorse for your bad doings, you go to hell. If you live as best as you can but mess up from time to time and are sorry for your sins, then you go to purgatory and eventually heaven once you have served your time there. It’s bizarre to think about whoever came up with these concepts because that’s what they are, concepts. Is there any real proof that heaven, hell, or purgatory exists? There isn’t any true concrete evidence, at least not that I know of.
I think what I want to believe is that when you die, you get to see all of your loved ones that have passed before you. I was listening to a podcast a little while ago and there was a medium being interviewed. She said that we are reincarnated, which is a totally different can of worms, and that we do, in fact, get to see our loved ones when we pass away even if they have already been reincarnated. A piece of their soul remains in the afterlife and that is what we get to experience when we die. It’s pretty crazy to ponder this concept.
If this is true, it brings me a sense of peace and makes me feel less worried about passing away because I will be greeted by familiar faces. Some people say that to die is our greatest adventure, it’s mightier than any experience we can have here on earth. Do I look forward to that adventure? No, absolutely not, at least not at this point in my life. I want to live for a long time which wasn’t always the case. Maybe when I’m old and gray, if I make it there, I will look forward to that adventure, but that day isn’t today or any day soon. The great unknown is an overwhelming idea to try and wrap my mind around and I try not to dwell on it too often. I don’t know if we have the capacity to have a true understanding of death and what it is to die, what awaits us on the other side when this life that we know so well is over. All I do know is that I want to enjoy the life that I have here in the present and to try and keep the existential mind warp at bay.
